Lunch is Anything but Mundane
As I
walk in, past the desk of wayward belongings, I head with friends to get food.
The process of buying it is slowed with the crowd of perspective students and
staff on lunch break. We eat the assortment of food served under the flags of
the many countries with only the highest quality condiments. The sounds of a
dance practice or band playing are background to our ‘pleasant’ conversation. As we get up, I head to the store to buy the materials
I need to continue with my studies and then head to my home.
Word count 97
I really like all of the detail and descriptive words you used when describing the interactions you have with the commons, but with out the picture I would have had a hard time figuring our what you were talking about. I think you should talk more about the significance of the commons and why it is important to you.
ReplyDeleteI like how your blog is more about being a story than something being told to the audience. Something that you might be able to improve on is further explaining how the commons is important to your friends as well as other students that go there.
ReplyDeleteThe blog describes out UMBC life very well. I have never thought that someone is going to chose UMBC as a topic, this is good, It just like our everyday life. I love UMBC. (and your blog as well)
ReplyDeleteWhile your descriptive post puts me in your shoes of a normal UMBC day. I don't think you accurately represented what this blog was supposed to be about. However, if you rewrote this blog post i believe you could make it about you wanting to protect the place of main activity on campus.
ReplyDeleteI like how your described your routine in the Commons and it definitely solidified why it matters to you. However, if you would have included how the Commons is important to the community, this blog would possibly be better.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy this blog and the fact that you chose the Commons. Your descriptive words sounded like you were telling a story, in a way that everyone could picture what you were saying. One thing I would like to know, is if the Commons has always been this place that matters since you first came to UMBC? Or did it develop over a period of time?
ReplyDeleteThe description of the commons was great. I would have liked to read about how the commons is important to the community.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job at describing the commons, everyone in the class can relate! The showing of your routine in the commons was a good part of this blog.
ReplyDeleteI think it is clear that you enjoy the Commons at UMBC. However, I do not think you have completed the assignment. Nothing in your blog speaks on the importance of the Commons building and why it should be preserved.
ReplyDeleteThe description of the Commons was great but you never really talked about how it should be preserved.
ReplyDeleteOne criticism I have is that you could add a more unique title to catch our attention. On the other hand, the depth of the description implants a perfect mental image of the commons. Some more on the cultural value could have been nice as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see a familiar sight in another person's point of view. You did a good job describing what you saw and heard but also describe how the keeping the commons would contribute to the community.
ReplyDeleteI understand your focus is on the common at UMBC, but you did not explain why it is important to you. Every campus has a building that is like the commons, and there are plenty of place on campus with food and friends, what makes the commons significant?
ReplyDeleteIt is a nice description, but you didn't tell us why we should preserve this place.
ReplyDeleteI like the focus on UMBC and your explanation. However why is it significance to you?
ReplyDeleteYour description of the commons was great, but i think telling us about why it's important to you would make it even better.
ReplyDeleteGreat personal description of the Commons, but you could have added a bit on why it is significant to the student body. Also, this post deserves a better title.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job of knowing your audience and using enough descriptive words to get across your place without outright saying it. Only criticism I have would be your choice of picture. I would have gone with one that shows the inside. This picture shows the commons as more of a space, whereas an inside shot would portray it as more of a place, with people interacting in some of the ways you describe.
ReplyDeleteIt was a good description of what the Commons means to you but it would be nice to have a little more detail of how it's important.
ReplyDeleteVery nice description of the commons, i this blog is great! The one place you could have improved was where you said "We eat the assortment of food served under the flags of the many countries with only the highest quality condiments." I think that sentence could have been arranged better for more clarity.
ReplyDelete